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oh the goofiness of me 

i can laugh at myself – i really can. and I normally pick friends (the few that I have) who can laugh at themselves also. people who take themselves too seriously are not for me. people who cannot appreciate their own ridiculousness should just keep walking.

but sometimes, i just wish that i was cool. i just wish that i was that kid. the one who got high fived. but i’m not. the other day i played basketball. i say ‘played’ as if i contributed to something. i just ran up and down the court. when i caught the ball – if i caught the ball – i would either panic or grow overly excited. neither of these reactions could be perceived as cool. no high fives for me.

geek standards have changed. being a loser became celebrated – for a while. it was ok to be smart. lots of widely accepted brands started making geeky glasses as a fashion statement. but there are still many levels of “not acceptable”.

comic books and panda pyjamas are still filed in the “not fully understood” category. people still look at you funny if you read science fiction. Trekkies are still widely feared by society. you might get away with going to see the new Star Wars – it’s popular culture dude – but you will be singled out for knowing the plot history and all the characters ever.

i suppose being a geek/nerd/loser builds character. MIT students are usually geeks. bill gates is a geek. so is clark kent and peter parker. but life isn’t a comic book and the bad guys aren’t the villains – they’re the cool kids.

it’s hard. no matter how good you are at laughing at yourself. it gets exhausting.

but hey. it’ll be ok. in the end. i think. i hope…

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