how do i relax and stop worrying?
so recently i have been trying these meditation courses. it’s an app based course so i don’t need to be in an incense, hippy filled room. i am a person who can often find it hard to focus, relax and switch off. i am a natural worrier. i worry about everything. and i don’t just worry. i obsess. i go over things again and again in my mind. what might happen. how i could have done something differently. the veins in my head are constantly throbbing. my muscles are forever tight and knotted like tree roots. it’s a nightmare and it’s exhausting. so i figured, it can’t get any worse – let’s give this whole meditation thing a try.
sometimes it can be the smallest thing that i obsess over. an unfinished cup of tea. the fact that i haven’t posted on my blog for ages. my instagram feed not being uniform. my twitter comments being taken out of context. the quality of my work being rubbish. i get annoyed at myself for not being on top of things. i feel guilty if i sleep in on weekends.
i don’t think that i’m alone in my predicament. no doubt lots of people feel like this. right now i’m thinking to myself that i should be doing some sewing right now. my cora violet dolls are not going to dress themselves. but then i think. “i’ll have to get my sewing machine out and it’s on a high shelf behind lots of other stuff.” and then i decide that i cannot be bothered. i am my own problem. i know.